Freakishly good.

In my continuing odyssey through all things short fic, I’m thrilled to be able to host a rather splendid example from Freaks (also available from any good independent bookseller; keep books on the High Street!), the cool collaborative venture from Caroline Smailes and Nik Perring, illustrated by Darren Craske. Fifty short stories about people who don’t quite fit, either cursed, blessed, or just getting on with that something that makes them different. Stories that will make you smile, make you laugh, make you think, and make you cry. I defy anyone to read Fifty Per Cent, for example, and not be moved.

So. Here for your delectation, I’m pleased to present,


[Super Power: The ability to make oneself unseen to the naked eye]

If I stay totally still,

if I stand right tall,

with me back against the school wall,

close to the science room’s window,

with me feet together,

pointing straight,

aiming forward,

if I make me hands into tight fists,

make me arms dead straight,

 if I push me arms into me sides,

if I squeeze me thighs,

stop me wee,

if me belly doesn’t shake,

if me boobs don’t wobble,

if I close me eyes tight,

so tight that it makes me whole face scrunch,

if I push me lips into me mouth,

if I make me teeth bite me lips together,

if I hardly breathe,

if I don’t say a word.


I’ll magic meself invisible,

and them lasses will leave me alone.

Buy it, read it, love it. This is what is looks like:

(Oh yes, and it also available as an e-book.)


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